CoolKid Parenting {NON} Advice: How {NOT} to Raise an Entitled Child

There are so many parenting and teaching methods with even more books on the subject.  I have never been a parenting book reader, but have mostly gleaned my information from mothers, new and long time.  There have also been examples of children turned adults who have truly impacted the way I parent my children.  I am constantly looking forward, hoping my parenting of today translates into responsible, capable adults of tomorrow.

Throughout my almost 12 year journey as a parent, there have been many lessons {big and small} that have resonated with me and been implemented in our household.  We have garnered criticism, eye rolls, compliments, and praise for our style of parenting, and we trudge on paying no mind to the positive or negative comments.  We are a work in progress, always doing the best we can until we know more and can do better.

First, our main goals are to raise:  GRATEFUL, CAPABLE, RESPONSIBLE, LOVING, KIND, HONEST and HARD WORKING kids, and in turn, adults.

What we are trying to avoid raising:  DEMANDING, ENTITLED, IRREVERENT, IRRESPONSIBLE, UNAWARE, LAZY and UNKIND kids, and in turn adults.

respect

So here goes, the top 10 ways to train a child in today’s world, so they may turn out to be honorable and honoring.

10.  Learn to say “NO” and follow through with it.  Do NOT give in when the tears come,            and they will.

9.  Avoid falling into parenting wars of who buys which clothes or shoes or underwear or $20 Nike socks.  Simply say no to competition with other parents.

8.  CHORES!  Yes kids can do them, and they must learn to contribute.  Our kids are responsible for any number of chores around our home.  Yes, they grumble, but they are not off the hook.

7.  Practice respectfulness.  We had to teach our children to shake a person’s hand, introduce themselves to an adult, say please and thank you, hold the door for the next person, etc.  Children will not naturally do any of these things, because they are not being taught at home.  Training is ongoing, and everywhere.  Never miss a chance to allow your child to practice respectfulness to others.

6.  Take Responsibility.  When our kids forget an assignment for class or need to make arrangements for makeup tests, we expect that our kids will respectfully address their teachers to handle it.  I try not to get involved in those interactions, because these are chances for my children to mature and face responsibilities head on.

5.  Read text messages and monitor social media.  This is not to spy on our kids or get in their business, but more to teach our children about electronic communication.  Our children are learning how to converse with friends and the opposite gender, and it doesn’t always go smoothly.  We teach how one’s perception can be wildly different than the intention.

4.  Text message our kids.  I find that sometimes our son is more open over text message where he is forced to write/type his thoughts.  He is more able to clearly communicate via the written word and I am able to get a better picture of a given situation.  He may not always want to talk, but he will almost always text.

3.  Go all out for birthdays.  We have always done extravagant birthday parties for our children.  They are only young for such a short time, we love celebrating and making lasting memories.

2.  Share struggles and age appropriate lessons learned from our own experiences.  We find that parents are typically trying to paint a picture of perfection with their children, causing expectations to be unattainable.  When we share our successes AND failures with our children, they realize we are human and make mistakes too.  Perfection is not available to ANYONE, therefore it is not expected of our children.

1.  Laugh! Humor goes a long way and if we are not able to laugh at ourselves and be silly even in a crowd, our kids will take themselves and life too seriously.  Laughter truly is the best medicine.  Life is too short to worry about what people think, joy is contagious, so laugh out loud!

 

 

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